Listening to oldies again. Feeling sentimental all over.
I'll never forget my Bestfriend. She brings Joy to my life, truly.
I remember it like it was yesterday. The first introduction, the first phonecall to her, the first of everything.
And the last few moments of it all.
When she described me clear as day.
No one else could. No one else understood.
No one else knew.
And neither did they bother to.
She never told it to me directly. But as I read the messages.
I started crying. The first ever, happy tears that lasted a lifetime to me.
She told a friend of mine, a lover at that time.
That my character is based on the songs I listen to, that it isn't difficult to understand me, it's that people aren't willing to look closer, to look further, to look clearer.
The first line just literally stunned me as I read it.
I read it over and over and over and over...
I read it so many times.
I could not believe it.
She never showed it, she never mentioned,
And I realized...I never noticed.
She noticed every move I made, every action,
every word I said.
And I failed her.
It was at that moment, that I realized,
As i am always there for my friends,
She has always been there for me.
I was never there for her, I never knew her,
Never understood her like she did of me.
And I called her my Bestfriend.
I'm pathetic. How could I have done this...
Why was I so clouded...
It's because I was selfish.
Not a waking second of my life goes by without me thinking about her.
I screwed up. I broke my promises to her.
My biggest regret in life.
Losing my Bestfriend...
Taking her for granted..
I never treasured what I had, I never took notice.
I was blind in all aspects.
Because I put my own needs first.
Because what I've always yearned for was Love.
The love from a friend.
From a friend like her, breaks all boundaries.
I may cry,
I may beg,
I hurt myself,
I pray,
All in vain.
Because I'm just afraid.
I've never been afraid to try.
Never gave up.
To get her back, I feared.
I tried without giving it my all..
And I gave up.
After all I did, after all I've done.
I do not want to hurt her anymore.
I will live with this forever.
I deserve it.
I need her.
She's the only one, that ever fell in love with as a friend.
The one that showed me worlds,
Brought me true Joy that went straight to my soul.
I'm sorry for everything.
I live in faith, that I'd see you again.
I love you.
