about me:)

Name: Gerald Poh
Birthday: 06/12/1989
Location: Singapore
About Me:
Sentimental, loves SPONGEBOB!

::links::

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Well, you've thought about this yesterday. Here we are. Both apart and now single. You can club all you want, drink all you wish.

Everything I do is wrong, the money I spent on you is good for you but the money I spend on myself I get scolded for it.

Everything I've done to make you happy means nothing to you.

Clearly I'm not the one for you, neither are you the one for me.
It just took me abit longer to find out because i'm stupid. Even in your eyes.

I know you've wanted this for a long time.
But you didn't want to harbor the guilt, so you kept pushing me to my limits.

I'm happy that you're happy now.
Thank you for the memories.
They will now be yet another scar in my heart.

***

 

On this day, you've made my mind think.

Giving you happiness and treating any other day like valentine's day apparently isn't enough for you.
We had agreed to spend it on a different day.
I now know that you only agreed for the sake of it. Because I didn't give you much of a choice.

My thoughts and realization is that, I don't think I'm the one for you.
You want me to be like everyone else.
Most guys don't give a girl flowers on a normal day or a day without occasion because they feel embarrassed, shy or find it weird.

Most girls only get one flower a year. Or are given flowers once a year only.

I'm sorry for being different and unwilling to pay for an extremely overpriced Rose.

If you want someone else, your ex even.
Let me know and we shan't waste anymore time being together.
Clearly, i screwed up valentine's day for you and me.
If I can't make you happy on this day then what's the point right?
So even if I can make you happy on any other day it means nothing.

I now know which day of every year that all girls judge a man with.

This is not unconditional love, it's not even love at all. It's just being materialistic. If without materials, you can get sad and cry. Then clearly I'm not needed in the picture.

***

 

I sort of knew this man. Didn't know him that well but he's one of the nicest people I've ever met. Willing to do anything for the people he loves and cares for.

What happened to him was...he committed suicide.
Why?

Well, he had an unreasonable wife/queen, 3 princesses.
He worked 2 jobs to keep everyone happy, all but himself.
To Him, keeping his loved ones happy is happiness for him, I admired his sincerity.

Because of his 2 jobs, he lacked time with the family.
He had no time for himself at all, even did all the house chores because his wife did not like hard labour, and his daughters were too spoilt.

He gets scolded by his wife for not spending time with them, but they failed to realize that everything he does is for everyone but himself.

His wife ended up cheating on him, daughters ignored him as the lack of time made them grow apart.

When he found out, he felt so much shock, betrayal and yet, he sort of knew it would happen.

He carried on doing what he did, loving everyone, keeping everyone happy. Till the day his wife asked for a divorce.

His daughters didn't even care that their mother was cheating, instead they told their father that he deserved it.

An hour later, he jumped off the building.
No funeral was held by his family and only his brother went to see him off.

Two weeks passed, the house was a mess, they had a notice to pay their housing loan and electric bills. Only then, did they start to realize.

It was too late. After three months, they were all living on the streets. The wife was dumped by her affair.

They cried for weeks. Placing all the puzzle pieces back together just to realize that the man they drove to his grave, is the only man in the world, that would die for them, love them with all his heart, care for everyone else but himself.

Such betrayal.
Take your man for granted and you'll only realize what you lost when you drive him away.
By that time, you'll never get him back, neither will you ever find another that will love you that much.




This is why I, do things for love.
Love is everything to me.
It's my life, my entire world.
Patience only lasts that long.
I can do anything and everything for someone I love.
But if I'm taken for granted, I can confirm...that you will regret it the rest of your life. Because you will feel the guilt, that you never deserved a man like me.

It's not all about you, girls.
Look at the big picture. Don't be selfish.
Keep that mindset and you'll be divorced, dumped, left in the streets.

Time for a change.

***

 

There's no point saying those three words anymore. Because whenever you're troubled, you don't care about my feelings. when I'm troubled I still gotta ensure your happiness.

I say those three words so many times and I get pure silence from you whenever you're thinking of something. I don't get it.

You say you don't feel like going out today, then after 3 hours you ask to meet me cos you want to see me.
It's not that I don't want to see you too but what if I had made plans already during that period because you didn't want to meet today?

Sometimes I just wish you can make up your mind. You reject me then accept me again. When I reject your offer, it's all my fault. But you don't realize you rejected me first.

It's all about you. Mistakes are all caused by me. Everything is my fault, I'm to blame for all.
How do you expect me to enjoy my supper?

***

 

Just asked a few friends about this.

My conclusion to girls is that if you want to deliberately reject your man from his needs.

You will regret it in the end. Men don't cheat for no reason.
Sex is not dirty.
It's about connecting romance and faith.
Building bonds with one another and getting closer to one another.

When that void is not filled, men find alternatives.
Either self service or finding someone else that is willing to get closer with them.

Everyone wants a sense of belonging, a connection with their partner.
Men and women have different ways of doing so.

Don't judge a man for his needs.
Men are born like this, it's only natural.
Like how men don't judge women on wasting money on things they either use once or don't even need at all.

It's like employers and employees.
Employers are always able to find a cheaper better replacement.

In life, you may love someone but when the other doesn't love you as much.
It takes time but it's not impossible to find another replacement.

Take a listen to Adele's song titled 'Someone Like You'
Because she couldn't get the man she loves, she plans to find someone that's a close match even if it's not him.
It sounds like she is 'settling' for someone else.
But facts are that she cannot have Him.

When two are truly in love and connected there will be no void.
So in actual fact, she isn't 'settling'.

That guy just isn't the one.



When a guy loves a woman, he becomes a yes man to her as much as possible.
Though it's different for the woman because they have a mind of their own, they have more wants and needs than just their partner in life.

The rare few stand out from the crowd and keep faith in the minority of men that run into them.
That's life.
And that's that.



End.

***

 

Pain...
What is pain.
I feel none.

Blood...
Just a pigment of red
Mixed with water

That's a shame.

***

 

If I didn't love you do much.
Everything you say will go right past me.
But the fact is, I do.
And everything goes straight to my heart.

If love was just a game, we'd all be players jumping in and out of the game whenever we feel like it.

I'm not doing that.

***

 

Sometimes I feel, like I am stuck behind the wheel.
The wheel of possibility, where ever it may roll...
Give it a spin, see if we can somehow factor in.
I know that there is, more than one way.


You're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up and you're down. You're wrong when it's right, you're black then it's white, we fight we break up, we kiss we make up.

Doopdeedoopdoopdoop.
Awaiting her reply and so many songs pop into my head. Lol.

One day when .... Gone. Everyone would ....... Back and wonder.
Did ...... ........ Do it.
A letter is .... .... Remains.
Within a ..... ..... Of memories.

***

 

Hmmmm.
*deep sigh*
*shakes head*
Gerald: I'm such a disappointment.

***

 

I need an angel, a savior.
My heart beats so fast for her.
Whenever she send me a message or when I hear her voice and when I see her!

I just wanna grab her and kiss her!
I've never felt this anxious over anybody before.
My heart beats so fast I feel as though it's gonna explode.

I feel like shedding a tear whenever I see her.
I have never EVER been this happy before!!!
I wanna tell the whole world!
But I'm pretty sure no one's gonna care. Lol.

I need help, I don't want to be clingy.
I don't want to end up pushing her away.
I must refrain myself, I must!
Well, I have to try... Lol!
Im laughing to myself! I could be going crazy.
Hmmmm

Pretty sure I was nuts a long time ago. Hahaha

I just had a thought, a day-dream in the night so to speak. Lol.
That if I ever heard those three words from her, I might cry so many happy tears I could create a puddle.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna find a way to hide this blog so certain people can read it only. I don't want her or her friends reading my thoughts and heartfelt words. Call me selfish Mr.Blog but I must not reveal my weaknesses or I might end up back to square one.
Phew...that's a load off my chest. Lol!

***

 

We had it all,
That was the beginning.
The very first date,
Feels like yesterday.
Best first date of my life.

Quarrels started,
Rolling in like water.
We grew distant,
Miles apart.

A knock on the door,
I was on cloud 9.
Back down to earth,
She took her things.
That was the start of an ending.

On my knees,
Begging her.
Tears rolling,
Uncontrollably.

I Stand on the ledge,
Looking down.
I feel lower,
Than the ground.

You called,
Held me back.
The story continues,
With nothing changed.

Knowing it would come to this,
I could never get ready.
I shout to the skies,
Asking Him why.
He gave no reply.

So I say...
Goodbye Love Story.
You've got endless pages.
A sea of ink to be written with.
Sadly, the story stops here.


Written by: Gerald Poh Jun Wen

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Each time you think I forgot,

To make a call to you.

Its not because I forgot,

Its that,

I just could not.

Though I explained,

Spoke truth,

I felt you just would not,

Believe me..

I am really sorry,

I am trying my very best.

Yet obstacles always appear,

Without warning,

And leaves me with no where else to go,

But forward.

I truly am sorry,

But you can always call me,

When I fail to do so.

If I don't make the move,

Are you just going,

To keep sitting there,

Waiting...

For your phone to ring?

This picture, was taken when me and my friends were at Starbucks.

Well,

We were really moody,

And just sick and tired of waiting.

Me and my friend's girlfriend PLUS another friend of ours,

were just talking amongst themselves about their own stuff.

We felt left out,

and just wanted to go home.

Yet we ended up taking pics like this.

Sigh,

I guess nobody likes waiting...

***

 

I just stopped crying.

Just couldnt stop thinking of my dog.

I had so many horrible thoughts of her today.

I kept seeing her in a coffin.

And i wanted to cry so badly during that time.

Now, every time i blink or close my eyes,

I see her eyes.

Remember the way she looked at me whenever i was sad.

Think i'll post the poem i wrote about her.

Her name is Chocolate.

Chocolate

Whenever i was sad,You would always cuddle up to me.

And keep me company.

Whenever i came home from school,

You would always come running to greet me.

Whenever i have a bad day,

You would look at me with those beautiful eyes.

And put a smile on my face.

You're like another sister to me,

I just dont know what to do now without you.

I feel a big piece of my heart has just been ripped out.

Stolen and kept for ransom.

I pray you'll come back to me safely.

But i would never do anything to hurt you.

Just breaks my heart into another million pieces.

Over and over and over.

Everytime i cry,

You'd lick the tears i've cried.

I know u dont want me to cry.

Right now,

At this moment.

I'm crying my heart out,

Trying to keep the pain inside,

Its just too hard!

No matter how angry and sad i am,

No matter how hard i punish myself.

I just wish none of this would happen,

To cause me to lose You.

I Love You,I Love You,I Love You.

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I had the best day of my life!

4th May 2007

Had a bad flu this morning but went to school anyway.
After school, i went to deposit my $1200 cheque at the bank.
Went home, on the way home, my nose was leaking.
LOL.
Like a broken tap.
When i got home, i took a much needed 3 hour nap.
Woke up at around 4.50pm to get ready to meet Christina
and my nose was okay already.

Took my own sweet time getting ready and all.
Haha.
Met her 30 mins late.
Oops?

When i saw her, she lifted my spirits a little.
COS SHE WAS WEARING A DRESS!!!!
With little heart shapes on it. Haha.
Then we went to send our other friend ALSO called Christina to the bus stop cos she was going home.

A pic of both Christina's.
:D

After that, we went for dinner at Sushi Tei in Ngee Ann City.
The cost of food there was, above average.
Haha.
Had a great dinner there.

Then we were supposed to go to Gleneagles Hospital cos I wanted to go there as I wanted to make an appointment for an X-ray session.
BUT, she said 171 could take us there. AND GUESS WHAT!

SHE WAS WRONG!!!!!!

So since we didn't know which bus goes there.
We went to Esplanade instead.
Had fun getting a little lost on the way.
:P

When we got there, we just stared at the scenery.
After like 10 mins, we walked over to the Merlion cos I wanted Starbucks coffee.
Haha.
After i got my coffee.
We went to sit near the Merlion, gazed at the night sky.
Beautiful full moon and the sky was full of stars.
Then at bout 10.30pm.
We started making our way home, took a bus 75 home.
And the funny thing was...bus 75 GOES PAST GLENEAGLES!
We felt so dumb.
Haha.

Got off at Cashew road.
We walked through the small park there then all the way to the bus stop near my house.
And she took a cab home instead.
LOL.

Happiest day of my life.
Doesn't sound that way?
Thats cos i left out many parts of the story.
Haha.

But its just being with her that makes me happy.
I felt so free today.
Everything we planned didn't follow through,
YET we ended up having lots of fun still.
:D


And her comes the worst part of the day.
Christina just sent me a message saying that her mom knows bout me and her.
And her mom wants to speak to me this Sunday at church.
Hmm...
Got a bad feeling about this.
But i guess things will get better if i see her mom.
At least, i hope things will get better.
*gulp*

Hmm, thats all i guess....
IAN!!!!
CALL ME WHEN U READ THIS!!!!
LOL!

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